people believe in fortune cookie readings but not the Word of God...why???
sigh

in other news, read Ephesians 4 today and it's so good.
please break me through Your Word instead of through circumstances Lord, even though I have a bad tendency to always learn the hard way, may You humble me through Your Word.

The Assigning of the Call

The Assigning of the Call
I now rejoice in my sufferings for you, and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ, for the sake of His body, which is the church . . . —Colossians 1:24

We take our own spiritual consecration and try to make it into a call of God, but when we get right with Him He brushes all this aside. Then He gives us a tremendous, riveting pain to fasten our attention on something that we never even dreamed could be His call for us. And for one radiant, flashing moment we see His purpose, and we say, "Here am I! Send me" ( Isaiah 6:8 ).

This call has nothing to do with personal sanctification, but with being made broken bread and poured-out wine. Yet God can never make us into wine if we object to the fingers He chooses to use to crush us. We say, "If God would only use His own fingers, and make me broken bread and poured-out wine in a special way, then I wouldn’t object!" But when He uses someone we dislike, or some set of circumstances to which we said we would never submit, to crush us, then we object. Yet we must never try to choose the place of our own martyrdom. If we are ever going to be made into wine, we will have to be crushed— you cannot drink grapes. Grapes become wine only when they have been squeezed.

I wonder what finger and thumb God has been using to squeeze you? Have you been as hard as a marble and escaped? If you are not ripe yet, and if God had squeezed you anyway, the wine produced would have been remarkably bitter. To be a holy person means that the elements of our natural life experience the very presence of God as they are providentially broken in His service. We have to be placed into God and brought into agreement with Him before we can be broken bread in His hands. Stay right with God and let Him do as He likes, and you will find that He is producing the kind of bread and wine that will benefit His other children.

FINALLY watched slumdog today!
it's a really good movie, definitely:) even though some people said it was overrated because of the mega publicity it got, i loved it. i'm glad i didn't see any commercials for it(in my opinion commercials ruins all movies) so that def helped.
yeah the story revolves around a love story that was "destined" which is pretty trite. but the story in between is so well told. from the settings to the characters, beautiful storytelling.
i love that it's so different from all the other movies that are shown here. and seeing how much suffering there is in india, esp. for children, makes you wonder why there is such a difference in lifestyle between you and them. can we continue to live in such comfort when there are so many out there who are starving and have no place to sleep?
Lord Jesus use us to reveal Your glory, may You show Your love through us. that they may know Your love.

reading an article on michael jackson's neverland ranch. his family is planning to turn it into something like elvis' graceland, some sort of a tourist attraction complete with museum, a concert venue, and amusement park.
it seems so sad. this man's life is subject to public display even after his death, not to mention that his family is quick to find ways to make more money off of him.
another one of these stories that seems like they had it all. he accumulated tons and tons of material wealth but had no peace. he couldn't even have the simple pleasure of being able to naturally sleep well at night.
he had it all. but in the end he couldn't take anything with him.

i have to buy a book now?! oh my...
can i please just understand flex automatically?

i find that when i'm not living by the Spirit, willfully disobeying what God is calling me to do, my body has all sorts of problems (headaches, cold, body aches, pooping, etc).
in this life there are consequences, He loves me too much to let me go. Thank You Father:)

The "Go" of Relationship

The "Go" of Relationship

Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two—Matthew 5:41

Our Lord’s teaching can be summed up in this: the relationship that He demands for us is an impossible one unless He has done a super-natural work in us. Jesus Christ demands that His disciple does not allow even the slightest trace of resentment in his heart when faced with tyranny and injustice. No amount of enthusiasm will ever stand up to the strain that Jesus Christ will put upon His servant. Only one thing will bear the strain, and that is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ Himself— a relationship that has been examined, purified, and tested until only one purpose remains and I can truly say, "I am here for God to send me where He will." Everything else may become blurred, but this relationship with Jesus Christ must never be.

The Sermon on the Mount is not some unattainable goal; it is a statement of what will happen in me when Jesus Christ has changed my nature by putting His own nature in me. Jesus Christ is the only One who can fulfill the Sermon on the Mount.

If we are to be disciples of Jesus, we must be made disciples supernaturally. And as long as we consciously maintain the determined purpose to be His disciples, we can be sure that we are not disciples. Jesus says, "You did not choose Me, but I chose you. . ." ( John 15:16 ). That is the way the grace of God begins. It is a constraint we can never escape; we can disobey it, but we can never start it or produce it ourselves. We are drawn to God by a work of His supernatural grace, and we can never trace back to find where the work began. Our Lord’s making of a disciple is supernatural. He does not build on any natural capacity of ours at all. God does not ask us to do the things that are naturally easy for us— He only asks us to do the things that we are perfectly fit to do through His grace, and that is where the cross we must bear will always come.

this is such a well-done skit. after watching this just so thankful for the treasure we have in Jesus. what a great treasure that has been given to us:)
though we are weak, He overcomes all.

Jars of Clay

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.
-2 Corinthians 4:7

during my morning QT i came across this verse. and it's a verse that is said fairly often so i didn't think much of it but when i read the commentary, the more i thought about it the more it blessed me.

The commentary on this verse writes:

4:7 treasure. A reference to the "knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ" (v.6) as the content of the gospel (v.4). jars of clay. A common metaphor in the ancient world for human weakness. This verse thus restates the central thesis of 2 Corinthians as seen in 1:3-11 and 2:14-17: God trumphs amid human weakness, embodying the principle of Christ's crucifixion.

even though we are weak and have many faults as jars of clay, still God gave us a treasure which we are unworthy to contain. Unable to forgive ourselves or others to the full extent or take away our iniquities (God regarded and treated "our" sin [the sin of all who would believe in Christ] as if our sin belonged not to us but to Christ Himself. Thus Christ "died for all". p.2230 ESV)


for the first time in a long time, He opened my eyes to see how unfair that was. not Christ was "supposed" to die for us. but truly He sacrificed His all to reconcile us to the Father.

He gave His all for me, why is that i cannot do the same for Him? still, He is my treasure even though i am unworthy to contain Him as a jar of clay. Thank you Jesus for this gift in which we are unable to obtain on our own:)

[i dont know why it doesn't show the capitalize the word God in the beginning in that font but please just ignore it==...]

wow actually getting somewhere with this flex server thing, awesome:)

ok, one more step!
加油加油加油加油加油

“One day in a vintage shop I found… a pair of skinny acid-wash jeans. It was like, Ahhh! - a halo was shining around them. I wore them every day. When I got my first big break, I thought, ‘Screw it, I’m wearing the jeans to the interview with the editor in chief.’ I wanted to see what would happen if I was real. I remember telling her, ‘I’m not your typical fashion editor. I work hard and I know my stuff, but you should know, I’ll be the one wearing acid-wash jeans.’ I got the job.”
— Kate Lanphear in this month’s issue of Elle.

love her style:)

旅行したいなぁ〜
いつ帰ればかな。。。
プログラミング分からない；；
頑張りましょう：）

so sleepy・・・☂

forcing myself to learn programming...-__-

yay got my free shampoo from saks today:)
can't wait to try it out! smells so good haha

Praying to God in Secret

September 16, 2009

Praying to God in Secret

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When you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place . . . —Matthew 6:6

The primary thought in the area of religion is— keep your eyes on God, not on people. Your motivation should not be the desire to be known as a praying person. Find an inner room in which to pray where no one even knows you are praying, shut the door, and talk to God in secret. Have no motivation other than to know your Father in heaven. It is impossible to carry on your life as a disciple without definite times of secret prayer.
"When you pray, do not use vain repetitions . . ." ( Matthew 6:7 ). God does not hear us because we pray earnestly— He hears us solely on the basis of redemption. God is never impressed by our earnestness. Prayer is not simply getting things from God— that is only the most elementary kind of prayer. Prayer is coming into perfect fellowship and oneness with God. If the Son of God has been formed in us through regeneration (see Galatians 4:19 ), then He will continue to press on beyond our common sense and will change our attitude about the things for which we pray.
"Everyone who asks receives . . ." (Matthew 7:8 ). We pray religious nonsense without even involving our will, and then we say that God did not answer— but in reality we have never asked for anything. Jesus said, ". . . you will ask what you desire. . ." ( John 15:7 ). Asking means that our will must be involved. Whenever Jesus talked about prayer, He spoke with wonderful childlike simplicity. Then we respond with our critical attitude, saying, "Yes, but even Jesus said that we must ask." But remember that we have to ask things of God that are in keeping with the God whom Jesus Christ revealed.
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from yesterday's Utmost, i didn't have time to read it till now but i thought this is very true and i often miss the fact that God isn't impressed by our earnestness but only through Christ's redemption.
a simple truth that pierces through the heart.

Is There Good in Temptation?

Is There Good in Temptation?

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No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man . . . —1 Corinthians 10:13

The word temptation has come to mean something bad to us today, but we tend to use the word in the wrong way. Temptation itself is not sin; it is something we are bound to face simply by virtue of being human. Not to be tempted would mean that we were already so shameful that we would be beneath contempt. Yet many of us suffer from temptations we should never have to suffer, simply because we have refused to allow God to lift us to a higher level where we would face temptations of another kind.
A person’s inner nature, what he possesses in the inner, spiritual part of his being, determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the true nature of the person being tempted and reveals the possibilities of his nature. Every person actually determines or sets the level of his own temptation, because temptation will come to him in accordance with the level of his controlling, inner nature.
Temptation comes to me, suggesting a possible shortcut to the realization of my highest goal— it does not direct me toward what I understand to be evil, but toward what I understand to be good. Temptation is something that confuses me for a while, and I don’t know whether something is right or wrong. When I yield to it, I have made lust a god, and the temptation itself becomes the proof that it was only my own fear that prevented me from falling into the sin earlier.
Temptation is not something we can escape; in fact, it is essential to the well-rounded life of a person. Beware of thinking that you are tempted as no one else--what you go through is the common inheritance of the human race, not something that no one has ever before endured. God does not save us from temptations--He sustains us in the midst of them (see Hebrews 2:18 and Hebrews 4:15-16 ).
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This is a good one. I used to cave so easily into temptations that I thought there was just no way to escape. But now I see from personal experience that living and loving Him above all things, He pulls me through.

mi manchi firenze:(

Unlocking the Secret of Integrity - Accountability

 This is such an amazing sermon given by Pastor Brad Paik, i'm listening to it right now.
 Definitely give it a listen if you have time, it's a critical message that all of us need in our Christian walk.
i think this is a key to walking faithfully in our lives.
Unlocking the Secret of Integrity - Accountability

What To Renounce

What To Renounce

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We have renounced the hidden things of shame . . . —2 Corinthians 4:2

Have you "renounced the hidden things of shame" in your life— the things that your sense of honor or pride will not allow to come into the light? You can easily hide them. Is there a thought in your heart about anyone that you would not like to be brought into the light? Then renounce it as soon as it comes to mind— renounce everything in its entirety until there is no hidden dishonesty or craftiness about you at all. Envy, jealousy, and strife don’t necessarily arise from your old nature of sin, but from the flesh which was used for these kinds of things in the past (see Romans 6:19 and 1 Peter 4:1-3 ). You must maintain continual watchfulness so that nothing arises in your life that would cause you shame.
". . . not walking in craftiness. . ." ( 2 Corinthians 4:2 ). This means not resorting to something simply to make your own point. This is a terrible trap. You know that God will allow you to work in only one way— the way of truth. Then be careful never to catch people through the other way— the way of deceit. If you act deceitfully, God’s blight and ruin will be upon you. What may be craftiness for you, may not be for others— God has called you to a higher standard. Never dull your sense of being your utmost for His highest— your best for His glory. For you, doing certain things would mean craftiness coming into your life for a purpose other than what is the highest and best, and it would dull the motivation that God has given you. Many people have turned back because they are afraid to look at things from God’s perspective. The greatest spiritual crisis comes when a person has to move a little farther on in his faith than the beliefs he has already accepted
--------------------
what must i do to love You more?
i will wait for You in obedience

please pray for me that if it is His will that i can find a job here so i don't have to potentially move to SF.

oh my gosh i don't want to move to san franciscoT_____________T

Arguments or Obedience

Arguments or Obedience

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. . . the simplicity that is in Christ —2 Corinthians 11:3

Simplicity is the secret to seeing things clearly. A saint does not think clearly until a long time passes, but a saint ought to see clearly without any difficulty. You cannot think through spiritual confusion to make things clear; to make things clear, you must obey. In intellectual matters you can think things out, but in spiritual matters you will only think yourself into further wandering thoughts and more confusion. If there is something in your life upon which God has put His pressure, then obey Him in that matter. Bring all your "arguments and . . . every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" regarding the matter, and everything will become as clear as daylight to you ( 2 Corinthians 10:5 ). Your reasoning capacity will come later, but reasoning is not how we see. We see like children, and when we try to be wise we see nothing (see Matthew 11:25 ).
Even the very smallest thing that we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is completely sufficient to account for spiritual confusion, and spending all of our time thinking about it will still never make it clear. Spiritual confusion can only be conquered through obedience. As soon as we obey, we have discernment. This is humiliating, because when we are confused we know that the reason lies in the state of our mind. But when our natural power of sight is devoted and submitted in obedience to the Holy Spirit, it becomes the very power by which we perceive God’s will, and our entire life is kept in simplicity.
----------------------------------------
oh my goodness you cannot imagine my joy in reading this.
i was so confused trying to rationalize and think everything out but trying to understand God and perceive Him through human eyes is impossible
wow, even this morning wrestling with confusion but being a just and good God He provided this for me to read seeing how i can never realize these things on my own
i see now why i was feeling so burdened, seriously what was i trying to do?
but feeling so much lighter happier now:):) thank You♥
i will obey You because You are God, even if i don't understand. i believe that You alone are good and i love You.
by Your Spirit, help me to love You more and have more faith:) everything is created for You Jesus♥

man, i'm so bad at programming-__-...

my brain hurts from coding and i'm not even very far...

Welcome to the Light Club.

i rarely listen to rap but seriously this is awesome!!

esp. like the last part: Mark chapter 10 the 31st verse, the first shall be last and the last shall be first.

not sure exactly why but been feeling burdened recently.

Father please let me grow more and more and more to glorify You and minister to others.

"Don," he said. "If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus."

September 12, 2009

Daily Bread:

Lateral Violence
READ: Matthew 20:20-28

Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. —Matthew 20:26

An intriguing article in Michigan Nurse magazine called attention to “nursing’s dirty little secret”—the incivility and verbal abuse that occurs among some nurses. This peer-level bullying (also known as lateral violence) takes the form of back-stabbing, innuendo, infighting, sabotage, verbal affronts, failure to respect privacy, and others.
Not only is lateral violence occurring among nurses, it’s a growing problem in a host of other work environments. This bullying always includes an imbalance of power, an intent to harm, and the threat of further aggression.
Of course, this would never occur in the church—or would it? Think about the personal interaction in deacon and elder boards, church office staffs, Bible-study groups, and youth ministries. Are they ever marked by the kinds of behavior that harm, denigrate, or intimidate others? And what about in our families?
When the disciples were jockeying for position in the coming kingdom, Jesus rebuked them and said, “Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant” (Matt. 20:26). With that attitude in all our relationships, bullying will never be found among us.  — David C. Egner

Lord, may we have a servant’s heart
In all we say and do
By placing others’ needs above
What we want to pursue. —Sper

Only the one who serves is qualified to lead.

My Utmost for His Highest:

Going Through Spiritual Confusion

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Jesus answered and said, ’You do not know what you ask’ —Matthew 20:22

There are times in your spiritual life when there is confusion, and the way out of it is not simply to say that you should not be confused. It is not a matter of right and wrong, but a matter of God taking you through a way that you temporarily do not understand. And it is only by going through the spiritual confusion that you will come to the understanding of what God wants for you.
The Shrouding of His Friendship (see Luke 11:5-8 ). Jesus gave the illustration here of a man who appears not to care for his friend. He was saying, in effect, that is how the heavenly Father will appear to you at times. You will think that He is an unkind friend, but remember?He is not. The time will come when everything will be explained. There seems to be a cloud on the friendship of the heart, and often even love itself has to wait in pain and tears for the blessing of fuller fellowship and oneness. When God appears to be completely shrouded, will you hang on with confidence in Him?
The Shadow on His Fatherhood (see Luke 11:11-13 ). Jesus said that there are times when your Father will appear as if He were an unnatural father?as if He were callous and indifferent— but remember, He is not. "Everyone who asks receives . . ." ( Luke 11:10 ). If all you see is a shadow on the face of the Father right now, hang on to the fact that He will ultimately give you clear understanding and will fully justify Himself in everything that He has allowed into your life.
The Strangeness of His Faithfulness (see Luke 18:1-8 ). "When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?" ( Luke 18:8 ). Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.
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humble me Lord.
break me and use me to serve You.
i am nothing without You, i give my life all to You.

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above...Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythians, slavee, free;

but Christ is all, and in all.
-Colossians 3:11

September 11, 2009

Missionary Weapons (2)

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If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet —John 13:14

Ministering in Everyday Opportunities. Ministering in everyday opportunities that surround us does not mean that we select our own surroundings— it means being God’s very special choice to be available for use in any of the seemingly random surroundings which He has engineered for us. The very character we exhibit in our present surroundings is an indication of what we will be like in other surroundings.
The things Jesus did were the most menial of everyday tasks, and this is an indication that it takes all of God’s power in me to accomplish even the most common tasks in His way. Can I use a towel as He did? Towels, dishes, sandals, and all the other ordinary things in our lives reveal what we are made of more quickly than anything else. It takes God Almighty Incarnate in us to do the most menial duty as it ought to be done.
Jesus said, "I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you" (13:15). Notice the kind of people that God brings around you, and you will be humiliated once you realize that this is actually His way of revealing to you the kind of person you have been to Him. Now He says we should exhibit to those around us exactly what He has exhibited to us.
Do you find yourself responding by saying, "Oh, I will do all that once I’m out on the mission field"? Talking in this way is like trying to produce the weapons of war while in the trenches of the battlefield--you will be killed while trying to do it.
We have to go the "second mile" with God (see Matthew 5:41 ). Yet some of us become worn out in the first ten steps. Then we say, "Well, I’ll just wait until I get closer to the next big crisis in my life." But if we do not steadily minister in everyday opportunities, we will do nothing when the crisis comes.


 Daily Bread

How Honest Are You?

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READ: Acts 5:1-11

Those who deal truthfully are [God’s] delight. —Proverbs 12:22

Woman’s Day magazine surveyed more than 2,000 people to check out their honesty level. When asked, “How honest are you?” 48 percent said very honest, 50 percent said somewhat honest, and the other 2 percent said not very honest.
Sixty-eight percent of respondents confessed that they had taken office supplies from their job for personal use. And 40 percent admitted that they would cheat on their taxes if they knew they wouldn’t get caught.
Ananias and Sapphira must have thought they could get away with lying (Acts 5:1-11). But they quickly found out differently when Peter confronted them and told them that they had lied to the Holy Spirit. Immediately they were struck dead (vv.5,10).
The Lord’s desire was to keep His new church pure so He could use the believers in the lives of others. As Bible teacher G. Campbell Morgan says, “The church pure is the church powerful. . . . The only power [able to make] a church pure is that of the indwelling Spirit of God.” The purity of the church led to their testimony spreading, and “believers were increasingly added to the Lord” (v.14).
Let’s be the kind of people who “deal truthfully” (Prov. 12:22) so we can be used by the Lord.  — Anne Cetas

Lord, by Your Spirit grant that we
In word and deed may honest be;
All falsehood we would cast aside,
From You, O Lord, we cannot hide. —D. De Haan

There are no degrees of honesty.

i'm so sinful that i can't even repent and give thanks on my own but only by grace. so it's not by works.
kind of frustrating that i have to wait patiently when i wish everything could just be done now.
i hate that my heart is so hard and calloused that i'm so blind and can't see Him. like the daily bread said yesterday, if you don't clean regularly, your heart will become so infested that it would take a lot of work to make it in good condition again. i couldn't see that yesterday but my heart is definitely like that.

nothing can ever, ever, ever separate us from Your love. not even the way i am now.
i won't give up b/c You'll never give up on me. i know You're moving me closer to You.

so ashamed. i can't even recognize my sins.

help me to be thankful for Your salvation Jesus. draw me close to You.

My Utmost for His Highest today

September 9, 2009

Do It Yourself (2)

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. . . bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ . . . —2 Corinthians 10:5

Determinedly Discipline Other Things. This is another difficult aspect of the strenuous nature of sainthood. Paul said, according to the Moffatt translation of this verse, ". . . I take every project prisoner to make it obey Christ . . . ." So much Christian work today has never been disciplined, but has simply come into being by impulse! In our Lord’s life every project was disciplined to the will of His Father. There was never the slightest tendency to follow the impulse of His own will as distinct from His Father’s will— "the Son can do nothing of Himself . . . " ( John 5:19 ). Then compare this with what we do— we take "every thought" or project that comes to us by impulse and jump into action immediately, instead of imprisoning and disciplining ourselves to obey Christ.
Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today, and the saints who are "bringing every thought [and project] into captivity" are criticized and told that they are not determined, and that they lack zeal for God or zeal for the souls of others. But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature. It is inconceivable, but true nevertheless, that saints are not "bringing every thought [and project] into captivity," but are simply doing work for God that has been instigated by their own human nature, and has not been made spiritual through determined discipline.
We have a tendency to forget that a person is not only committed to Jesus Christ for salvation, but is also committed, responsible, and accountable to Jesus Christ’s view of God, the world, and of sin and the devil. This means that each person must recognize the responsibility to "be transformed by the renewing of [his] mind. . . ." (Romans 12:2 ).

My Utmost for His Highest
 
seriously, so true. i needed to read this.

so painful right now
but i will trust in You, that You're changing me for Your glory Jesus.

so many crazy things happened yesterday!
i dont have time to write it right now, but i'll come back later to edit〜

went to the gas station to pump some air into my tires today.
i watched as my tire slowly lifted up up up from the ground but at a certain point the air stopped going in and this meter thing from the air pump popped out.
so i asked one of the car shop person how to pump air into my tires:)
he took out his measuring meter and when he measured it he said,
"there's too much air! it would've exploded if you drove on this."
that would've been really scary...

ok, so i'm bad with cars and can't put air into my tires properly
but i'm thankful that's why God provided kind garage shop personnel to help:)
yay that He is good!